Always. It doesn't always feel that way. Actually, it seldom feels that way. It's no secret that my family has been going through some trials lately. Today I was hit with one heck of a blow out of left field. It left me bruised and somewhat broken lying sullen and confused on the floor But I'm supposed to be thankful. I'm supposed to be thankful? For what?
Are you familiar with the Biblical story of Job? I'm about to paraphrase it rather poorly just to make a point so don't you Biblical scholars come after me about skipping details. Basically there was this dude, Job, who was super faithful to God. You could say he was God's #1 fan. And God loved Job right back. Satan couldn't stand seeing God being all smug about his devoted follower so he made a bet with God. He told God that the only reason that Job was so faithful was because God had blessed Job with abundance. Satan reasoned that, should God take away those blessings, Job would turn against God in a hot second.
Now God doesn't have anything to prove, he's God after all. He's the coolest person ever. But he decides to take Satan up on his bet anyway. He allows Satan to begin slowly, systematically dismantling Job's life. Satan to takes Job's livestock, then his children, his wealth, even his physical health. Job is understandably freaked out by this. He's been faithful. He's been pious. Why hast God forsaken him?
I get it. I don't profess myself to be half the Christian that Job was, but I get it. I've slowly watched the few things in my life that bring me joy and security eliminated, not slowly with the breeze, but suddenly like a mighty storm. I have questioned God. I've even challenged God. I don't understand how I got to here. How my family arrived at this state. I've tried to be hopeful. I even started this blog months ago in the hopes of bringing joy to other people's lives. But still, the things I love are being taken away one by one.
Back to Job. Job suffered terribly. His friends and loved ones implored him to curse God or to admit to whatever secret sin he had committed to create such suffering. But Job remained faithful. He did not curse God. He DID curse the day he was born but, come on, the poor guy had a bunch of dead kids and sores all over his body. You'd be pissed, too. I don't know how, but Job managed to keep his faith and understand that God WAS with him. Satan became infuriated with Job's devotion but had to admit defeat. In the end God restored Job to an even better life than he has started with.
But here's the rub; I'm not Job. I feel like my eternal soul is being used as a game, but not to my betterment. Yeah, yeah. I'm building a Kingdom in Heaven and everlasting joy and all that crap, but I could really go for some solace now. I'm human. I'm impatient. I'm exhausted. I can only be strong for so long before I give up. So God, please help out a mortal. Please help out your child. Because right now, I really need something to always, always, always be thankful for.
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