Everybody's Fat Friend

Greetings, friends.  Today I’d like to explore our relationships with others, especially our relationships with ‘normals’.  Thanks to the advent of social media I’ve been able to connect with tons of people, including people I went to school with 20 years ago.

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        Side note: If there are any teenagers out there reading this, let me assure you, it DOES get better. The person you are now in no way, shape, or form resembles who you will become.  What’s better is that the same goes for all the people around you.  I’m now friends with people who bullied me. People I never in a million years thought would speak to me are 'liking' and commenting on my content on various web sites.  They think I’m bright and witty.  Hopefully one or two of them are  reading this right now. 

Anyway, although I know my girlfriends love me very much, there’s still that 16-year-old part of my brain that believes they just keep me around so that they look better in comparison.  Yes, things get better as you grow and mature, but you never completely kill off that part of your brain no matter how much you drink in college.  Here’s a prime example:

This is me and my friend Kelly.  We went to high school together.  She was a cheerleader (big shock).  I was in drama club and color guard.  Take a guess at how many conversations we shared in high school.  The correct answer, of course, is zero.  However, Kelly and I are now friends.  I have her personal cell number and vice versa.  She cared enough to text me on my birthday.  Although she abandoned us for the state of Florida because she does not have a healthy respect for snow, we still communicate and keep in touch.

Now, Kelly is one of the most stunningly beautiful people I’ve ever seen.  Every boy that sees this pic loses his shit because boys are stupid and driven by their penises.  They do not understand that losing their shit over someone else in a photo of YOU might just make you a little hurt and/or self-conscious (boys, please write this down because Lord knows you won’t remember).  Ironically, the same night this picture was taken, Kelly told me about a flaw of hers that makes her very self-conscious.  I’m not going to even mention what that flaw is because I’m not giving it any power.  I’ve already embarrassed her by using this picture (don’t worry, I got her permission in advance) but I’m not going to worsen it by announcing a trivial flaw that she shouldn’t ever worry about because she’s so very beautiful inside and out.  Anyway, she’s sitting there telling me how she thinks she’s ugly and that 16 year-old piece of my brain is saying, “See.  I told you.  She keeps you here so that she seems less ugly.”  Stupid brain.

Fast forward 4 years.  I recently reconnected with someone (not Kelly, but I didn't get the other person's permission, so I won't use her name here) from the past that I didn’t think knew I existed .  No, she knew I existed, I just thought she and her friends had disdain for me.  Once again, 16 year-old brain was wrong.  We talked about life and God and she even invited me to come to church with her and her family.  I got the feeling that her invitation was sincere, so I thought about going.  However, 16 year-old brain won.  It reminded me that this new friend is GORGEOUS and, no matter how sincere she is, she hasn’t seen me in 20 years or else she wouldn’t be caught dead being seen next to me in public.  Once again – stupid brain.  I haven’t met up with my friend yet.  I want to say that eventually 30-something year old brain will win out on this battle and I’ll go see her, but we’ll just have to wait and see.

Now, because I am a big old hypocrite, I’m going to challenge all of you.  Reach out to those people that you’ve always said, “We should get together some time” to and ACTUALLY do it!  Go out, reconnect, have a blast, and try to force yourself not to wonder what the other person is thinking of you.  Your friends won’t ever put you into a box labeled brain, athlete, basket case, princess, or criminal (if you get that reference, 50 bonus points.  If not, get off my blog).  The only box is the one you build around yourself.  My hope is that you’ll enjoy yourself and allow yourself some wide open space to be the unique, beautiful, perfect person that you are.