I have an app on my phone called Timehop (I'm sure most of you are familiar) that shows me what I posted to social media on the current day in previous years. Here is what I wrote on 24 January 2016:
"CNN is running a series called "The Person Who Changed My Life" wherein various CNN anchors share stories of their life changers. Hmmm... THE person? Like the ONE most significant relationship that forever changed who I am? That's a million dollar question. There are people who have taught me how to love, people who have taught me how to laugh, and people who have taught me to think and question. There are saints and sinners. There are people who have shown me that pain and cruelty exist and people who have taught me how to overcome pain and cruelty. I don't think I could name ONE person if I tried. But to all of you who make my list, thank you. Thank you for inspiring me and teaching me to believe. Thank you for proving that yesterday does NOT have to define tomorrow. Thank you for creating the amazing person writing these words right now."
Those words are as true today as they were a year ago. I've encountered many game changers in my life, both positive and negative, but there are certain things I've come to realize; For one, I don't think we give enough credit to our bad relationships. I think we tend to beat ourselves up for staying in them. It's good that those relationships are over, but those bad relationships are every bit as important to who we are now as the good ones are. Every boyfriend I've had has put me closer to knowing what I NEED in a partner as opposed to what I want. Every ex-friend has shown me how not to treat the people I care about. And that's important. I've learned never to raise a hand to another and that sharp words cut deeper than any knife. Every slight and every blow has built me into a stronger, wiser, more compassionate person. So to all you jerks who were terrible to me, I owe you my thanks.
Another thing I've come to learn in my old age is that we didn't get to this point in our lives by stumbling around blindly. Each of us has had thousands of hands guiding us along the way. Some of those hands pass us on to the next never to be seen again. They may never know the full impact that they had on our lives. For example, I've had dozens of teachers from preschool through college but I can only remember the names of a few. Those are the ones that helped build me. Like Debbie Stephenson. She was my high school choir director and my vocal coach. She was more than just a teacher to me. She was a friend, a parent, and a mentor. I remember her for holding my hand after my sister was in a bad car accident. I remember her for- quite literally- smacking me in the back of the head when I started slacking off from my studies. She used to tell all her students, "Make mistakes, but make them LOUD." She never let us feel ashamed for hitting a sour note, as long as we did it confidently and learned what not to do next time. I still remember Mrs. Stephenson every time I screw up. I remember because I know it's okay and that I can, and will, do better. I haven't seen her in nearly 20 years, but I still want to make her proud. She will probably never know what an integral part of my scaffolding she became.
Then there are the everyday heroes we all encounter. One particular story from my own life comes to mind. It was about 13 years ago. I was in college and working full time. I had fallen asleep after a long night of studying and failed to hear my alarm clock. When I finally I woke up I went into panic mode trying to get dressed and grab everything I'd need for the day, beating myself up for how late I would be getting to work. I HATE being late. It was raining, so traffic was terrible. I got halfway to work when my empty gas tank light came on. I pulled into the first service station I encountered, all the while knowing this little detour was making me even more late. That's when I realized that my wallet was sitting on the kitchen counter at home. I didn't have any money to get gas and I didn't have enough gas to get home so I was stranded. I was so tired I couldn't even cry. I scrounged up about 58 cents from underneath the seats of my car and dashed into the station to pay the clerk. I must have been a sight. My hair was stringy from the rain, I was wearing 2 different shoes (didn't notice that until just that moment), and I was trying to buy 58 cents worth of gas. The clerk pulled out his wallet and put a $10 bill in his drawer. He told me to fill my gas tank and be careful getting to work. I was still wet. I was still terribly late. But that one gesture made me feel peace. I was so wrapped up in my problems I had forgotten how much good is out there in the world. I went back a few days later to repay him, but he refused my money. He said he was just passing on the blessings that God had given to him. Mind blown. I'll never know for sure, but I have a feeling that that guy didn't go home and tell all his buddies about how he saved some poor girl. I doubt that he boasted or bragged about his incredible generosity. However, I DO hope that he went to bed knowing that he made the world a little bit better that day.
That stranger was a hero for me. He is as much a piece of me as every other relationship I've ever had. And he'll never even know it.
We've all had hundreds of game changers in our own lives, good and bad, but what I want you to take away from this is that every encounter we have gives us a chance to be a game changer for someone else. Of course we affect our friends and our family members daily. But it's those chance encounters that really make the difference. How we treat others impacts how they treat everyone else down the line. It's all about random acts of kindness. So pay for the car behind you at the drive through. Stop to help the stranded motorist change their tire. Pay off a stranger's lay-away account at Christmas. It's not about gaining praise or acclaim. It's about going to bed that night knowing that you made the world a little bit better today. And that makes you a hero.
Then there are the everyday heroes we all encounter. One particular story from my own life comes to mind. It was about 13 years ago. I was in college and working full time. I had fallen asleep after a long night of studying and failed to hear my alarm clock. When I finally I woke up I went into panic mode trying to get dressed and grab everything I'd need for the day, beating myself up for how late I would be getting to work. I HATE being late. It was raining, so traffic was terrible. I got halfway to work when my empty gas tank light came on. I pulled into the first service station I encountered, all the while knowing this little detour was making me even more late. That's when I realized that my wallet was sitting on the kitchen counter at home. I didn't have any money to get gas and I didn't have enough gas to get home so I was stranded. I was so tired I couldn't even cry. I scrounged up about 58 cents from underneath the seats of my car and dashed into the station to pay the clerk. I must have been a sight. My hair was stringy from the rain, I was wearing 2 different shoes (didn't notice that until just that moment), and I was trying to buy 58 cents worth of gas. The clerk pulled out his wallet and put a $10 bill in his drawer. He told me to fill my gas tank and be careful getting to work. I was still wet. I was still terribly late. But that one gesture made me feel peace. I was so wrapped up in my problems I had forgotten how much good is out there in the world. I went back a few days later to repay him, but he refused my money. He said he was just passing on the blessings that God had given to him. Mind blown. I'll never know for sure, but I have a feeling that that guy didn't go home and tell all his buddies about how he saved some poor girl. I doubt that he boasted or bragged about his incredible generosity. However, I DO hope that he went to bed knowing that he made the world a little bit better that day.
That stranger was a hero for me. He is as much a piece of me as every other relationship I've ever had. And he'll never even know it.
We've all had hundreds of game changers in our own lives, good and bad, but what I want you to take away from this is that every encounter we have gives us a chance to be a game changer for someone else. Of course we affect our friends and our family members daily. But it's those chance encounters that really make the difference. How we treat others impacts how they treat everyone else down the line. It's all about random acts of kindness. So pay for the car behind you at the drive through. Stop to help the stranded motorist change their tire. Pay off a stranger's lay-away account at Christmas. It's not about gaining praise or acclaim. It's about going to bed that night knowing that you made the world a little bit better today. And that makes you a hero.
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